Mental health in a dark place, not sure how I’m going to handle further Covid restrictions

I apologize if this is a more “low quality post”, but I feel like this community is the only one able to be rational and actually empathize.

Throughout the entirety of COVID I was so lucky to have my husband around who not only agreed with me about lockdowns, but was able to be there with me. I am a mental health social worker so I have ended up having to increase my work (no in person visits, taking up workload of other “non-essential” positions at our agency that were furloughed) and actually get paid less. I’ve had clients completely reduce to a shell of what they were, succumbing to deep depression or paranoia. But my agency holds onto the risk of COVID trumping all of that. I’ve had two clients attempt suicide, one being directly related to lockdowns (the other I argue was indirect).

So it’s been rough. But last week my husband deployed and will be gone for a year and a half. And I feel so utterly alone. All my friends in the area are terrified of COVID, my friends from work won’t even visit. And there’s no end in sight. My family doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas because of COVID. My work keeps putting in place more restrictions while my clients clearly need more support. And I used to rant to my husband, who now won’t be back until middle of 2022.

I’m thankful for this subreddit, and I wish more people I knew thought like you all did.

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